Hold Me Close (Bridgewater County Book 4) Read online

  “Ethan,” she whispered. “People could hear!”

  That was true. What we did with Rachel wasn’t for public knowledge.

  Ethan grunted, rubbing his palm over the flesh. “I like the way my handprint is all hot and pink. Then you’ll get your spanking later.”

  I reached into one of my desk drawers, pulled out the butt plug and lube I’d been keeping, waiting for the right time to play. We’d take her together; Ethan had mentioned it. We hadn’t done anything about preparing her. Until now.

  I tossed one, then the other to Ethan, Rachel’s eyes following.

  “In the meantime, we’ll put this tiny plug in you.”

  “Butt stuff is my punishment?” she asked, her voice wary.

  Ethan moved to the side of the desk so she could see him without wrenching her neck. She remained in place, sprawled over my desk, so nicely.

  We both shook our heads. “Hell, no. You’re going to love it. As I said, your punishment is a spanking. Later, in our cabin. But I’ll work this plug in, then fuck you.”

  “I’ll have my turn, too,” I added, ensuring she knew we’d both fill her up again.

  “Then, you’ll keep that plug in until dinner.”

  She came up then, her skirt falling back in place. A shame. “What?”

  Ethan grinned. “You won’t forget who you belong to, will you? Our plug in your ass and our seed dripping down your thighs?”

  “I don’t need that to remember,” she countered, grumbling.

  Ethan moved behind her, gently pressed her back down over my desk, tossed up her skirt. He put the plug beside her on the desk and he flipped open the lid on the lube. When he let a small amount drizzle down into the crack of her ass, she squirmed, a little eep escaped.

  “Yet you can’t remember to forgo panties.”

  She pursed her lips, probably realizing she had no argument. I grinned at her, then winked, knowing we were still playing. But when her eyes flared wide when he pressed against her virgin hole, we weren’t playing quite as much anymore.

  It was important she was prepared. We never wanted to hurt her.

  I stroked my dick as I watched Ethan begin to open her ass up. She squirmed and breathed as he did so, but I could tell by looking at her she was aroused by it. When he grabbed the plug, lubed it up and then carefully filled her with it, she was downright whimpering.

  “Be right back,” Ethan said, heading to my private bathroom to clean up.

  I stood then, went around the desk, saw the little purple handle of the plug parting her pert cheeks, her glistening pussy lips and the pink handprint. “Just watching your ass get filled has me close to coming. This is going to be hard and fast.”

  “Yes,” she breathed.

  I stepped behind her, carefully sliding right into her eager pussy. She was so wet and I knew some of our seed from earlier still coated her nice and deep. I groaned and she stifled a whimper. Ethan came back out.

  “I thought I was first.”

  “You got to play,” I said, gripping her hips. I was going to come and I’d only been in her ten seconds. There was no rhythm to my motions, only the loud slap of flesh on flesh as I took her. I bumped the plug and it pressed in each time, pushing her to the brink. It was when her inner walls clenched and squeezed that I came, my fingers all but leaving bruises on her hips and I ground my teeth together to stifle the shout of pleasure.

  My breathing was ragged when I pulled out, watched my seed slip from her. Ethan nudged me out of the way as he didn’t waste time fucking her next. When he settled deep, she came, her fingers slipping over the wood of my desk, her back arched, her mouth open in a silent scream.

  Ethan rode her orgasm as he fucked her. Hard, deliberate and with a base need to plant a baby in her. I instantly got hard at the thought of all that seed making a baby.

  He came on a short grunt, pulled out and began to work the seed that was slipping from her back in. The play of his fingers had her coming again and she slumped on the desk. Well and truly used, and loved.

  We tucked our dicks back in our pants, set ourselves to rights as she recovered. I helped her back up to her feet, held her arm as she caught her balance, her skirt falling back in place. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes glossy and I couldn’t help but grin.

  “That wasn’t so bad, was it? The plug’s nice and small,” I said.

  Ethan leaned in, murmured in her ear. “Imagine that plug being replaced with my cock.”

  She bit her lip, looked up at him.

  I patted my hand on her skirt covered ass, felt the handle of the plug. “Back to work,” I said, grabbing her notebook and steering her toward the door. I couldn’t help but chuckle, knowing she wasn’t going to get anything done for the rest of the day.

  ***

  After falling back into my desk chair, I could have taken a nap after that playful bout of fucking, but even well pleasured, Rachel’s brain kicked back into work mode. “That message—” She pointed to the pink slip she’d brought in. “—You got a call from some guy at the San Francisco Giants.”

  Ethan’s eyes widened as he settled into the chair in front of my desk. He didn’t look satiated any longer either.

  “The Giants?” he asked.

  “He said something about flying out there?” Rachel added. Her voice and her expression were filled with a question.

  Aw hell, this wasn’t how I wanted to tell them about the new job. The potential new job. That was why I’d kept my phone calls to myself. It wasn’t a done deal and if I did get it—which was big if—I’d planned to break the news carefully to avoid a moment exactly like this one.

  I scratched my head as they stared at me. Rachel looked expectant, hopeful even. Ethan looked ready to punch me in the jaw.

  “Look, I can explain,” I said. “It all started six months ago. Well before you. Well before the rodeo even. It was an opportunity and I looked into it. That’s it.”

  “Yeah, but it’s in San Francisco,” Ethan countered.

  I nodded. “It’s a way of making it back to the big leagues. I don’t have the job. It’s just talk at this point.”

  “And being flown to California,” Ethan added. He definitely didn’t like this possibility.

  Rachel was still wearing her soft smile, but her eyes were filled with a sadness that made my chest ache.

  I stood, went to her, took her hands in mine. “Baby, this doesn’t change anything. I still want to be with you. I want our family.”

  She nodded quickly and her smile grew, although brittlely. “I’m happy for you, Matt. I really am.”

  Before I could say anything else, there was a knock at the door. Rachel went to it, opened it. One of the front desk receptionists spoke briefly to her. Rachel turned. “New guests need some help. Let me deal with them and I’ll be back.”

  I stared after her even when the door swung closed. Much as I hated to see her go without resolving this, I was glad she wouldn’t be around to hear Ethan and me argue. I turned slowly, bracing myself.

  “How could you keep this a secret?” he shouted.

  Yup, there it was.

  “Ethan, just let me explain—”

  “When were you going to tell me?” he asked. “When were you going to tell Rachel?”

  I tensed at that. Things with Rachel were so good, but so new. She was just starting to feel safe with us and we were all adjusting to the idea of potentially being parents and a true family. Hell, she had a plug in her ass for the first time. It had seemed too soon to broach the subject of moving or long distance relationships—the only two options if this dream job became a reality. I just hadn’t really expected it to.

  “I was going to tell you both,” I said, trying to keep my voice even. “I only heard from them for the first time last week and I didn’t want to bring it up unless I got it. Otherwise, it would just stress everyone out for no reason. Like now.”

  “Stress everyone out?” Ethan repeated. “Of course, it would. It has. We finally have everything we ever wanted and you’re about to ruin it.”

  “I’m not ruining anything. Jesus, don’t be so melodramatic.” That was the wrong thing to say. His face turned beet red and for a second I thought he might have a stroke.

  “Matt, we’re trying for a baby. Hell, we just fucked her over your desk. We’ve taken her bare from the start. For weeks. Do you understand what that means?”

  I had to tread carefully. “Listen, man, I know what I signed up for with you and Rachel and I’m not backing out on that.”

  “Obviously, since you just fucked her.” He pursed her lips, said nothing more. His silence felt like judge, jury and executioner. Dammit, he wasn’t even giving me a chance to explain. My anger started to rise to his level. This was exactly why I hadn’t told him in the first place. I knew he’d overreact.

  “Have I ever bailed on my responsibilities?” I asked, running my hand through my hair. “Give me some credit. If I said I’d commit to you and Rachel and help raise a child, then I’ll do it.”

  Some of the tension eased from Ethan but he still looked frustrated. “I just don’t understand. You’ve got everything you want right here—”

  “No,” I interrupted. “You have everything you want. You never wanted to leave Bridgewater. Running a ranch has always been your dream. But it wasn’t mine.”

  Shit, that had come out wrong. Ethan looked like I’d just sucker punched him.

  I dropped my head back with a groan, stared at the ceiling. “Look, I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant. I love what we have here. The business, our relationship with Rachel…it’s perfect.”

  Ethan studied me quietly. “But?” he finally prompted.

  “But you’ve got to understand. I lost everything I’d spent my whole life working toward with one bad pitch. While I love what I’ve got right now, pro baseball was always my dream. And I had it. For a little while I was on top of the world. Is it so wrong that I want to be a part of that again?”

  He was quiet and I knew better than to push him. “What about us?” he asked. “The three of us. How does our family fit into your dreams?”

  I ran a hand through my hair again because that was the million dollar question and the one I didn’t have an answer for. “I don’t know. But I’ll find a way to make it work. I promise you that.”

  He nodded, but he seemed far from happy with this conversation. When he started to walk away, I stopped him. “Where are you going?”

  He didn’t turn back around to face me. “I’m going to find Rachel and make sure she’s not upset. She’s got enough on her plate without worrying that one of her future husbands has decided to take off on her.”

  I winced, but he didn’t see it. “I’ll talk to her.”

  He shook his head as he reached for the door. “I’ll go. You’ve got a plane to catch.”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  RACHEL

  It was my own fault, really. I shouldn’t have eavesdropped. My mother would have told me that I couldn’t expect to hear something good when I was listening in on a private conversation. I hadn’t meant to linger outside the door, but their raised voices made me freeze as I came back from dealing with guests.

  Have I ever bailed on my responsibilities? I heard Matt’s voice loud and clear through the door. If I said I’d commit to you and Rachel and help raise a child, then I’ll do it.

  My heart plummeted at those words. It was the tone of his voice that did it—he sounded so bitter. So resentful. This was everything I’d feared.

  If I was being honest, I’d known what was coming the moment Matt told us about the job possibility. I’d seen the way his eyes lit up with excitement when he talked about getting back to professional baseball, and I couldn’t blame him. He’d been really good, famous even, for his pitching record. I’d gotten to know him well over the past few weeks. Well enough that getting back to his former world meant everything to him. Why wouldn’t he want to go back to a life of glamour, excitement...and beautiful women throwing themselves at his feet?

  A numbness set in as I moved away from the door. I didn’t want to hear anymore. I didn’t need to. What I heard had been enough for me to see the reality that was staring me in the face.

  I was a burden. And if I told them about the baby I was carrying, the baby would add to their burden a million times over. I groaned at the odd feeling of the plug in my ass. Tears stung the back of my eyes as I gathered my purse and headed directly for the bathroom. They’d put it in as part of sexy times—that’s what I called our playing—but I wasn’t in the mood for it now. I went into the stall, winced as I tugged it out. After tossing the stupid thing in the trash, I washed my hands. Studied my face, then went straight to the parking lot. Yeah, this sucked.

  I didn’t think to tell anyone I was leaving…what was the point? I’d have to quit my job anyways. There was no way I could keep working for Ethan once this relationship came to an end.

  Relationship. No, that’s not what this was and I should have seen that all along. It was more like a tryst. My bosses and I had sex. A lot. And those sexy times? Yeah, they’d been fun, but that was it. Nothing more.

  I clutched my stomach in a vain attempt to keep the nausea at bay. Sure, they talked a good game about knowing I was the one, but I should’ve known they’d get tired of me. For the past three weeks, I’d felt like I was living in a dream world. Everything had been so great, so perfect. Too perfect. Almost too good to be true. And today I’d landed back in reality with a thud. Not only did I find out that I was having a baby, their baby, but I discovered the harsh reality. I’d be raising it alone. I should’ve just gotten involved with the damn turkey baster and the donor sperm. My heart wouldn’t be hurting right now if I had.

  I got into my car and drove home in a daze, still too numb to cry as my brain replayed Matt’s words. I almost wished he’d been a jerk about it. In a way, it would have been easier to end things if he’d said he was bailing outright. That he didn’t care about me or any potential baby.

  But that wasn’t Matt’s way any more than it was Ethan’s. They were good men. Solid, dependable, loyal, and loving. If they made a commitment, they honored it, even if it stopped them from pursuing their dreams.

  I loved that about them, but I refused to be the person holding them back. It wasn’t fair, to them or to me. And it certainly wouldn’t be fair to this child. I was the one who’d wanted a baby, and I’d intended to raise a baby alone up until Ethan and Matt insisted otherwise.

  If Matt wanted to go back to the pros, I wasn’t going to stop him. I wanted him happy, not shackled to me.

  When I parked my car in the driveway, I sat there for a few moments and focused on my breathing. To think, just this morning I’d been so excited. I’d taken a pregnancy test before work and had planned on telling them over dinner. They were virile. They definitely had strong swimmers because it had probably happened that first night in the hotel room in Helena. I’d been ovulating then, the reason for that specific day to go to the sperm bank.

  I should be thankful I hadn’t told them yet. There was no way Matt would leave for San Francisco if he knew they had a child on the way. He was far too noble to walk out on a pregnant woman. His dreams would wither and die while I grew big and fat.

  That was why I had to walk away from them. I couldn’t hold them back and my dream—the baby—would do that.

  The tears started then. I dropped my head onto the steering wheel and let them come, mourning the fantasy life I’d let myself believe could be real.

  But it wasn’t real and it never could be.

  I’d originally planned to raise a child alone and that was what I’d do. I should be thrilled I was pregnant and I was nothing but sad.

  When the tears subsided, I went into the house and started making a plan for a new life. One without the baby’s fathers.

  When Ethan showed up on my doorstep two hours later, I couldn’t say I was surprised. My men were nothing if not protective. They looked out for me and I knew once they noticed I’d left the office, one of them would come looking for me.

  I tried to smile as I opened the door but I could see right away he wasn’t fooled.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked. The concern in his eyes tore at my heart.

  I didn’t want to do this! The selfish part of me wanted to cling to Ethan and ask him to tell me it would be all right. And he would. He’d make promises and reassure me until I was comforted. But his kind words wouldn’t change anything, not in the long run. So instead of running toward him, I backed away, gesturing for him to have a seat on the couch. He ignored the offer and came closer until he stroked my cheek gently. “Rachel, you’re making me worried. Were you crying?”

  I swallowed down the voice that was begging me to reconsider. It was time to be selfless—these men deserved that much. They’d given me the baby I’d always wanted, the least I could do was give them their freedom.

  “I’m sorry to leave so suddenly,” I said, my voice soft. “I just…I think I need to give my notice.”

  That wasn’t nearly as cool and confident as I’d intended but it did the trick. Ethan’s eyes widened with surprise and concern. In that moment, my heart ached for him. He was so strong, so protective, yet very vulnerable. It was easy to forget he had feelings, too. That this would hurt him. “Why? Is it something we did?”

  I shook my head. “No, I just think it would make things difficult if I stayed and—”

  “If you don’t want to work, that’s fine,” Ethan interrupted. His hands moved to my arms and he pulled me up against him. He felt so good, so strong and I reveled in the feel, his scent one last time. “Matt and I make more than enough to cover your expenses if you want to take some time to prepare for the baby.” His grin was only slightly strained. “It’s just a matter of time before you get pregnant. You know that, right? You need to be patient, that’s all.”

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